Well this is clearly not going to be one of those blogs where I write about every tiny detail of what I do and make at least 3 entries a day... shame that, because life has been immense.
Busyness - it is most definitely something that defines me. This can be a super bad thing when it correlates with the wrong attitude towards effort and achievement, but at the same time I can also just be very interesting and productive. This week was the sort that makes me think I am one of the most brilliant people alive.
Of course, ego's not so attractive. HOWEVER, I've been reminded recently that it is OK - nay GREAT - to be self-loving, self-promoting and generally self-interested because, as the ads would tell us, we're worth it. I'm not the only brilliant person but by Jove I'm up there. One of the first things you learn as a Christian about society is that the people are self-centred, superficial and think they're worthy by their own merits. One of the things you go on to learn about church is that the people are self-deprecating, falsely humble and think they're not worth anything at all.
Sure I'm stereotyping in all sorts of directions but, as with all caricatures, there's at least a grain of truth there.
[If you want any bible to pin this on then check out where John calls himself the disciple that Jesus loves. John 13:23 is just one example. Did John have an ego? Did Jesus have favourites? Nah - John just realised how God saw him and it totally changed his world view.]
I'm not saying I've got it all grasped... been having an interesting time of faith crisis and general diffidence... but as I work out my head and my heart, and let my thoughts and actions be more and less "Christian", I have noticed that my walk has often taken me into a territory that isn't the rebellion I thought it was. Like, perhaps, something in me wasn't happy with the way I was doing life and when I finally gave up trying I realised that it wasn't God's idea to be like that in the first place. The rest of the time I'm just really "getting" grace.
Sometimes we become like Christians faster that we become like Christ. I say "we", obviously if your Becca you don't :P
All that to say I'm f*cking amazing:
This week I've made three loaves of bread, plus taught a housemate how to; had a deep kitchen sort out; brewed approx 3 litres of apple jam (one ginger, one cinammon); baked spiced apple cake; created another kind of apple cake by my own recipe (just came out the oven - amazing); cooked dinner without even flinching at what to do; organised a Sunday roast... Besides which I've been hosting, helping and supporting a variety of nutjobs (and friends!) that have wondered into my world amidst these events. And on top of all that I presented a business proposal for my charity shop, did a bit more market research, some networking and came up with a brilliant launch idea. There's more but I don't want to boast.
The dream is becoming reality.
I mostly remark upon all this because it is still a shock. See I'm also the person that could lost a week to bed, cheese and box sets. I mean sure most days I took those lovely yellow pills that are fantastically full of amphetamines; and no doubt I'm a risk of pride coming before a fall, despite my thoroughly well grounded theology; not to mention I'm only just starting out and there could yet be a fat juicy maggot... but still, if I can do that I wonder if I can't do anything. Eurovision watch out...
Better stop writing before this becomes too long a post. Following soon(ish) will be the aforementioned recipes but I've got weddings and safaris to think about. Lataz,
Mwah! X
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